Ok… Maybe I have all the luck right now I deserve, and there wasn’t room on my luck list for anything more… Oh well… Maybe next time…

Sigh… Can’t say this is easy tho…

Isn’t it weird, how you can fall in and out of love with your love ? I mean, I’ve been together with Bart for over 9 years now, of which nearly 6 years married. I have never stopped loving the guy, on the contrary, the feeling just has deepened over the years. But the thrill has gone. Well, not really, but we know each other so well, every habit, every trait, every bit and piece. Not that that’s not nice: I love his habits and the whole of who he is. But usually the butterflies are gone. Till a certain moment, you look at him when he’s in your arms on the couch while you’re watching TV, and there’s that hot flash thru your body again, and you just can’t stop smiling. And all you want to do is cover his face with kisses, so that’s what you do, and the look in his eyes is so loving…
We just had tea together, a bit ago, I had forgotten today is a holiday, so no shops are open, and I defrosted some rolls. He offered to make us some scrambled eggs with cheese to go with them. And after that, I cleaned some strawberries and cut them up, to go with some vanilla ice cream. While he was putting the dishes away, he looked at me and said: “Aren’t we just lucky ? Aren’t we just two happy people ?” And all I could do was smile back at him and agree. Dog and cat were licking their paws, and silently agreed as well.

Is it weird to be happy ? Cos, deep down, I just am…

Tomorrow results of the pregnancy thing. Wish me even more happiness, people…

Got a real nice day yesterday ! We had what is called ‘Paedagogical day’ at school: teachers only, no students, and then we usually have a meeting all day, concerning drugs problems, school rules, vandalism on school, ways to deal with homosexuality or deaths or suicides or whatever…
This time our principal decided it was time for some fun: we departed at 7.30 for the Hoge Veluwe, and in particular the beautiful museum there (it’s a nature park near Arnhem, a city in The Netherlands). So before noon we wandered around the museum, saw some Van Gogh, Braque, Gris, Monet, Renoir… Then we had lunch, and then we went cycling. This park has this great feature: free bikes ! They have little white bikes all over the place, and you just grab one, go for a ride, and leave it wherever you want to be. We took a bike from the museum to the restaurant, and then we went for a ride of about 26 km. Was big fun, and the weather was so fantastic: 25° C, bright sunshine, light breeze… We all got a tan, heh. On our three hour drive back, the principal produced wine, beer, water, crisps… Everyone ended up singing aloud, LOL, really a school trip ! Was big fun, yep. And you know what is so nice about it ? We all got paid to do that :-))))

Today I went for a new lawn mower, since the old one is broke and the grass is about a meter high (it’s a shame!) and I finally found some black fringes for my banner. Yay !!!

Leaving about now for the movies, no, not Star Wars yet (queues are way too long, no numbered seats) but Grosvenor Park, the Altman film.

Generally one could say I’m doing fine these days…

I seem to have this situation going on here, the two parties being my cat and my husband.
On the one side there is the cat. Not even a year old, pitch black, sleek, nearly full grown, totally unaware of the Sword of Damocles hanging over his balls, an incredible hunter, and very very smug about that last part. As a good cat should do – but especially one in his puberty – he tries to please me, being his mistress/mommy/protector/the one who feeds him. And what is the summum of adoration he can show me ? Bringing me a live prey, usually a nice bird.
So this morning at 5.15u I was crudely awakened by an unearthly, ghastly, terrible squeeking – and I can assure you, at 5.15 in the morning it IS all these things! – of a little bird in death angst ! Purper (pronounced purrpurr, but being the Dutch word for Purple) came to wake me, as if I wasn’t awake yet, to praise him and his hunter qualities. The bird had already a broken wing, but was very much alive for the rest, and making a godawful racket. I tried to grab both cat and bird, but as the latter dragged the former under the bed, it wasn’t that easy. After several minutes, I managed to grab the bird in one hand, and the very indignified and offended cat in the other, went downstairs, and threw both of them in the garden. I couldn’t deny the cat his prey, as he is supposed to do such things, and the bird was lost anyway. Back up I went.

And there I found the other party in the problem: my husband. Bart had naturally been awaken – du-uh – by the bird’s anxious squeeks as well, and was terrified… My husband is the sweetest guy you can imagine, smart, caring, understanding, sweet, inventive, brave, hard working, attentive, romantic… But even a perfect guy needs to have a flaw, and the flaw on this one is blood. He just can’t see blood and gore and such things, without getting sick or vomiting. So as soon as he realised what was going on right underneath him, he curled up in foetus position, and covered his ears with his hands, and kept his eyes shut real tight. As the minutes of fruitless chase passed, I heared a soft moan immersing from the stack of blankets he was underneath. Poor guy. As I came back up after throwing all animal things outside, I found him positively trembling. I had to hold him, stroke his hair, rock him gently for him to calm down. Was so awkward, he usually does that kind of thing for me… Eventually he went back to sleep, still clutching my hand…

And the cat ? He left the remains of the bird on the porch, and came back up to sleep at my side, very very pleased with himself. And me ? I couldn’t deny the appraisal he earned. After all, he had been a good cat, providing me with a treat…

Found some good, really weird music: it’s called ‘Flamma Flamma (The Fire Requiem)’ by a Belgian composer Nicholas Lens, and if I’d try to describe it, I’d say Dead Can Dance meets Koyaanisqatsi meets Carl Orff meets Les Mystères des Voix Bulgares. The texts are in Latin, and consist of poems conceived for every chapter of a book ‘Ignis Perennis’ by Herman Portocarero. Both highly recommended, tho the book is scaringly thin. I read it aloud to 17 year students and we translate the poems, while listening to the music.

It’s good !

Heh, had a nice day today ! This lj shouldn’t be all negative :-). First had a long lie (again), then answered a bunch of emails and played some. Then a friend of mine came over, a young very handsome dude, and above all, really intelligent and very goth ! We had a nice long philosophic talk, did me good.
Then we went for friday coffee: me, hubby and some geek friends who discuss latest web events and technologies over some yum coffee, every friday afternoon. I really look fwd to that kind of meetings. Then Bart and I went to the new sushi bar in town, fast food, expensive, but really yum. After that we had set to meet our friends again at Machine Centered Humans, a very experimental theatre project: Scratch Robot, Sonic Cooking (had some delicious tiramisu) and then a performance of two net artists. We’ve known their project for years now, check it out every thursday between 11 and 12 pm GMT at http://www.entropy8zuper.org/wirefire. I recommend this very much !
We ended our evening with a drink at a real nice place, very arty farty as well :-p.

Yep, one of the better nights of lately. Pity I had to go home because the ache in my back was getting too much. I really hate that back of mine !

Bowels are pretty much ok now, back is getting worse again. And the doc says there’s nothing that can be done about it. I hate it ! It’s obstructing my busy life and all the plans I had during this vacation. 🙁 I can hardly walk right now !
Luckily there is always my Scots love to comfort me (albeit only online right now), the weather is still lovely, and I have a game of Cthulhu to look fwd to tonight. Yay, I can tease Randall again !
Gonna shower now and go to that hairdresser. Gonna leave it all ‘naturel’ this time: no curls, no colour, just me. Heh.

Mmmmm, vacation !!! All I did since friday, when I picked up my Scots love, was: saturday: pick up an English friend at the airport, hang in the sofas, talk… Sunday: sleep late, go to the Rugby Easter tournament, hang around in Gent, have ice cream, drink beer, talk, sleep. Monday: sleep late, hang around in Brugge, have ice cream, have a drink, talk, get back home, sleep. Tuesday: sleep late, wait for a friend of Holland to arrive, lunch, hang around in Gent, have ice cream, have a beer, talk, play Cthulhu, sleep. Today: bring the English girl back to the airport, hang around in Brussels, have ice cream, just enjoy the company of my Scots love, ….
And all of this in a lovely summer weather, over 20� Celcius here, bright blue sky, sun all over, for like 10 days now… Mmmmmmm….
Needless to say I like vacation ?

Yep, just had Faust on the phone, and yes… He said the concert on saturday was lousy ! He went pretty late in the afternoon, and it turned out Funker Vogt just sucked ! He’s a pretty big fan of them, so if he claims he didn’t like the concert at all… There was so little atmosphere, so little vibe, only such lame persons, that they even left before Deien Lakaien and Goethes Erben. Since he told me he really wanted to see those, it must have been pretty horrible. Heh… Glad I didn’t spend my money on it indeed, and that I didn’t feel too lousy about cancelling it.

Just wanted to let you know this, it’s a hell of a busy week, so a positive note is always welcome !

Right now I just wish: Coyote to feel at home at his new place, Jolefay to find an excellent room mate, Morganna to make up with her mother, Bluey to get more sleep, Randall to be happy with his love, Glod to love me, Ecola to see a splendid movie or two, Kai to have an excellent time in NY, and all of you: to be happy !!!

Still feeling ok… busy, but ok !

I think I was just too happy to update this thing. Heh, as so many, I use this channel to write down all my misery, and that helps resolving it. But there is a happy note now, yay !
The stomach thing went pretty well, all in all, and the doc prescribed me some new pills, which would turn me into a new being, he promised. Sceptical tho I was, I must admit he was RIGHT !!!! Haven’t had a stomach ache ever since, even drank a glass of red wine without cringing ! Stupid stubborn me should have gone to see that doc ages ago…
For the rest, it was a pretty ordinary week. Worked, played a little PC, went for lunch with Faust, talked to Les a lot… Played a nice game of Cthulhu, heh.
Had been looking forward to go to an indoor festival on friday and saturday, had arranged to meet a lot of people there, was going to pick up Jurryt at home, but… Friday I skipped, cos the bands coming weren’t that good after all, and saturday morning I checked my bank account and made some necessary payments, and… I noticed I was kinda running short on money :-(. I went to Glasgow to see my love earlier this month, and I broke a lens, so I need to spend money on that and on a new pair of glasses (my eyes need resting a bit more, so no lenses all the time), and I’m going to Paris in two weeks, with a class of 16-year old pupils, all prepaid, but still you spend money there. :-(( So I had to cancel the concert: no Funker Vogt, no Deine Lakaien, no Goethes Erben… Oh well…
Bart and I watched a movie then last night, I read Tolkien (once more) and I did some nice work, so all in all I don’t feel too bad about it.

Heh, I think I just feel content these days. More than most people can say. I wish you luck, all !!