YOu’re not gonna believe this. For a fact: NEVER use UPS, for they’re totally incompetent morons. ‘Hmmm’, you might say, ‘a company that renowned ? I’d doubt it’.
Let me tell you what happened (still is happening) here with UPS.

Half a year ago, Bart (my husband) bought a ‘lean mean gaming machine’, as the laptop was described, and indeed turned out to be. Black, heavy, but fast as hell and WAYYY cool., an Irish company, so yes, abroad shipping.

A week ago the hard disk decided to crash. Ok, such things happen, to the annoyance of everyone involved, but hey, such is life, and moreover, such is hardware. Alienware didn’t make a fuss at all, they would send UPS to pick up the machine, they would replace the hard disk, ship it back to us, and all would be well before we would go on our holiday in France. Right.

Alienware: ‘UPS will pick it up on Wednesday between 9 and 5, ok ?’ No problem, both Bart and I were home all day. Yet, no UPS. Oh well. Eager phonecall from Alienware to check if the laptop had been picked up, very astonished voice when it turned out it hadn’t.

Alienware: ‘UPS will pick it up on Thursday between 10 and 6, is that ok ?’ Hmm. Was a little less ok, but we managed to have someone in the home all day. I cancelled a trip to look for a gift for my father and managed to correct with purple ink instead of red. Yet, no UPS. Again a phonecall, pretty self-assured, from Alienware, which rapidly turned into mere consternation when it turned out UPS still hadn’t found our house worthy of a visit. Odd, to say the least.

Alienware (with tiny voice): ‘UPS assured us they will pick up the parcel between 8 and 12.00. I hope that’s still ok with you ?’ Grrrr. Bart’s at the bank today, so I kept the dog in all day (some visitors are frightened by a barking dog), stayed home (sorry Faust, no coffee yet), kept correcting with purple ink.

10.00: Alienware: ‘Did they pick it up yet?’ Nope. They gave me the ID numbers of the transaction and everything, called UPS Ireland once more, and I called UPS Belgium. ‘Hello, UPS ?’ ‘Oh, but our driver has been there on Wednesday, he said no one was home’. Bollocks ! ‘No problem, we will send someone over right away. If he hasn’t been there by 2.30, give us a call.’

3.00: ‘Hello, UPS ? If this game of yours continues much longer, I’ll send you the check for all the appointments cancelled.’ A big mouth sometimes helps. ‘Really ??? Still no one ? Odd. Please, ma’am, can you stay just half an hour longer ? I’ll make sure the driver is there within half an hour.’

3.30: ‘Hello, UPS ? Well ?’ ‘Errrr, ma’am, we’re ashamed to admit that due to a little system error there has been a slight mistake. The printout the driver got somehow dropped the last character of your address, being the number of your house. He has called upon number 2 several times today, instead of number 24. We are very very sorry. Can you please stay at home a little longer ? We just found out cos the driver is already in, but we can dispatch a new one right away. It will take some time for him to get there tho, so you can expect him at your door at 5.30. Oh, you will be out for a while, but will be back in by 4.30 ? No problem, I’ll mention that it can be picked up from 4.30 onwards. Thank you.’

4.05: I come home from some errands, and what do I find at my door . A note from UPS, who had been there at 4.00 sharp. ‘Hello UPS ?’ ‘Oh sorry ma’am, but the computer says that someone would be in from 3.30 onwards. Oh, you phoned at 3.30 ? Hmmm. You know what ? We’ll dispatch someone and he’ll pick it up before 6.00. We’re very sorry for the inconvenience.’


Undoubtedly to be continued !


6.05: ‘Hello UPS ?’ ‘Sorry, our offices are closed at the moment. You can reach us every day between 8 and 6, and on Saturday between 8 and 1. We’re closed on Sunday. Thank you’.


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