Been a long time since I cried over a song, but as I was listening to this one, all of a sudden the tears came bursting out of my eyes. If you’re not familiar with it, please find the MP3 and listen to it. If ever I die before Bart, or even the way around, I want this to be played at either funeral. It’s exactly how I feel, even though Bart and I never fight. I tried to translate it for those who don’t understand French.

Jacques Brel – La Chanson des vieux amants

Bien sûr, nous eûmes des orages
Vingt ans d’amour, c’est l’amour fol
Mille fois tu pris ton bagage
Mille fois je pris mon envol
Et chaque meuble se souvient
Dans cette chambre sans berceau
Des éclats des vieilles tempêtes
Plus rien ne ressemblait à rien
Tu avais perdu le goût de l’eau
Et moi celui de la conquête

Mais mon amour
Mon doux mon tendre mon merveilleux amour
De l’aube claire jusqu’à la fin du jour
Je t’aime encore tu sais je t’aime
Moi, je sais tous tes sortilèges
Tu sais tous mes envoûtements
Tu m’as gardé de pièges en pièges
Je t’ai perdue de temps en temps
Bien sûr tu pris quelques amants
Il fallait bien passer le temps
Il faut bien que le corps exulte
Finalement finalement
Il nous fallut bien du talent
Pour être vieux sans être adultes

Oh mon amour
Mon doux mon tendre mon merveilleux amour
De l’aube claire jusqu’à la fin du jour
Je t’aime encore tu sais je t’aime

Et plus le temps nous fait cortège
Et plus le temps nous fait tourment
Mais n’est-ce pas le pire piège
Que vivre en paix pour des amants
Bien sûr tu pleures un peu moins tôt
Je me déchire un peu plus tard
Nous protégeons moins nos mystères
On laisse moins faire le hasard
On se méfie du fil de l’eau
Mais c’est toujours la tendre guerre

Oh mon amour
Mon doux mon tendre mon merveilleux amour
De l’aube claire jusqu’à la fin du jour
Je t’aime encore tu sais je t’aime

Jacques Brel – The song of the old lovers

Of course, we’ve had storms
Twenty years of love, it’s a mad love
A thousand times you took your stuff
A thousand times I fled
And every piece of furniture remembers
In this room without a cradle
The outburst of old tempers
Nothing resembled anything else anymore
You lost the taste of water
And I the taste of conquest

But my love
My sweet my tender my marvellous love
From bright dawn till the end of the day
I still love you, you know, I love you

Me, I know all your magic tricks
You know all my spells
You’ve guarded me from one trap to another
I lost you every now and then
Of course, you took on some lovers
One has to pass the time
The body just needs to cheer
In the end, in the end
We both needed quite a bit of talent
To be old without being adults

Oh my love
My sweet my tender my marvellous love
From bright dawn till the end of the day
I still love you, you know, I love you

And the longer the time courts us
And the longer the time tortures us
But isn’t the worst trap
Living in peace for lovers
Of course you cry a little less early
I tear myself away a little later
We protect less our mysteries
We don’t let fate take its course so often
We don’t trust the thread of water
But it’s always a tender war

Oh my love
My sweet my tender my marvellous love
From bright dawn till the end of the day
I still love you, you know, I love you

Just what I needed: more crap!

Great ! Just was on the phone with my mom, because I thought she would be at least one person who I could talk to about feeling so sick and weak all the time, and get some support of. Apparently NOT ! She did it before, but I thought it was more of a slip of the tongue, but since she said it again… Thank you mom !
Her words: ‘This being sick all the time, and being on the couch and needing to lie down every half hour, don’t you think that’s a little bizarre ? Everyone I talk to thinks it bizarre… Are you sure it’s not your imagination ? Do you actually even cook anymore ???’

NO mom, I DON’T cook anymore… I’m being hypochondric, I love to lie on the couch all the time, to let Bart do all the work for me, and yes, I’m feeling so great about that ! After all, he’s only working full time, why would I not want him to do the housekeeping too, and the shopping he loathes etc etc ? Nah, it’s not as if I love him, I just like to see him slave over everything.
Oh, and being on the couch ? Isn’t it just LOVELY to lie there and know every TV commercial by heart, to be bored out of my skull, to have tons of plans for this vacation that are still waiting for me to feel at least a bit ok ? Making plans about the baby’s room is after all SO MUCH BETTER than being able to carry them out.
And yes, I already lost 14 pounds just cos I thought that being pregnant would be the ideal moment for a diet.
OF COURSE I cancelled my first holiday in 7 years (in France) cos I enjoyed the attention of being ill. Oh yes, I don’t like to visit my friends, at least now I have a decent excuse to stay home.


Goddamn, it’s hot out here !!!! Today they ‘promised’ us 31° Celsius, but the thermometer outside says 34° (don’t know this in Fahrenheit, but 37° C = 100° F, so you get the idea). The rest of the week will be even worse: this heatwave will last at least till Monday with temperatures up till 37° (indeed, that 100°) if we’re ‘lucky’. Thank god for airco !!!!

Was just hanging up laundry outside (dry in less than an hour) and I burnt the soles of my feet. Too hot to wear slippers…

Just watched the most intriguing documentary on National Geographic on the practise of bound feet in China. God, the pain and torment must have been intolerable, and such for centuries and centuries… The feet of grown women were all but 10 cm (3.9 inch) long.

Why are people prepared to suffer, and make their children suffer, all in the name of vanity and tradition ???

bound feet

To see more, just type ‘bound feet’ in Google pics…

The neighbour came by as I was talking outside to my parents who were leaving, and she told me that my cat Purrpurr, who has been missing for like three weeks, is dead…
She told me a lady accidentally drove over him, and that she waited, all shocked, beside him for the Animal Protection to show up. He must have been dead instantaneously, she says. Poor Purper…

I really really miss him: sleeping on my lap all day, gnawing my fingers, chasing my shoelaces, jumping on my lap in the morning when I went to the loo, waiting in the washing basin for me to come out of the shower…

I can’t even get a new kitten right now to pamper and make me forget, with the pregnancy and all…

Hmmm. As I had stated very clearly on the phone Saturday, UPS could pick up the package today between 1 and 3.30. At least, that’s what they promised me, for the zillionth time.

As I came home from school by 12.30, I found a note from UPS that they had been here at 11.30. Hmm. Apparently they don’t like the use of doorbells, cos yesterday Bart and I especially installed a new one that rings in the office, and both our business partner and the stagiair were there at that time, but heard no bell whatsoever.

‘Hello UPS ?’ ‘OH, but that hour limitation wasn’t mentioned here, so the driver has been by already. And that bell ? I wouldn’t know, ma’am.’ ‘Oh, are all of you apparently that incompetent ? Let me tell you the whole story.’ Silence, and then the sound of swallowing. ‘Listen, ma’am, I’ll make sure the driver picks up the package today before 6.00. If you have a moment or two, I’ll write down your entire story and make it an official complaint. Our complaint department will contact you later then. I’m truly deeply sorry.’

I really still need to see that laptop leave the house.

Problem is: if we don’t have it back and working by friday next week, we can’t leave for our holiday, cos Bart really needs that laptop. Nice… BLoody UPS !

9.00: ‘Hello UPS ? Oh, again a new person ? Let me explain…’ ‘Oh yes ma’am, I talked to a lady from Ireland yesterday morning about that. It’s still not picked up ? Hmmm. Sorry to say, but on a Saturday the package service itself is closed, there are no drivers atm. Can I send someone over to pick it up on Monday ?’

On Monday, both Bart and I are at work, and upstairs they don’t hear the bell (we’re gonna install one up there today, we clearly NEED one there !). So I told the guy I was gonna hire someone especially to sit around and wait for them to show up. They should be here between 1 and 3.30, at which hours I think I can be home. Hmmmm. Not gonna bet on it yet.


YOu’re not gonna believe this. For a fact: NEVER use UPS, for they’re totally incompetent morons. ‘Hmmm’, you might say, ‘a company that renowned ? I’d doubt it’.
Let me tell you what happened (still is happening) here with UPS.

Half a year ago, Bart (my husband) bought a ‘lean mean gaming machine’, as the laptop was described, and indeed turned out to be. Black, heavy, but fast as hell and WAYYY cool., an Irish company, so yes, abroad shipping.

A week ago the hard disk decided to crash. Ok, such things happen, to the annoyance of everyone involved, but hey, such is life, and moreover, such is hardware. Alienware didn’t make a fuss at all, they would send UPS to pick up the machine, they would replace the hard disk, ship it back to us, and all would be well before we would go on our holiday in France. Right.

Alienware: ‘UPS will pick it up on Wednesday between 9 and 5, ok ?’ No problem, both Bart and I were home all day. Yet, no UPS. Oh well. Eager phonecall from Alienware to check if the laptop had been picked up, very astonished voice when it turned out it hadn’t.

Alienware: ‘UPS will pick it up on Thursday between 10 and 6, is that ok ?’ Hmm. Was a little less ok, but we managed to have someone in the home all day. I cancelled a trip to look for a gift for my father and managed to correct with purple ink instead of red. Yet, no UPS. Again a phonecall, pretty self-assured, from Alienware, which rapidly turned into mere consternation when it turned out UPS still hadn’t found our house worthy of a visit. Odd, to say the least.

Alienware (with tiny voice): ‘UPS assured us they will pick up the parcel between 8 and 12.00. I hope that’s still ok with you ?’ Grrrr. Bart’s at the bank today, so I kept the dog in all day (some visitors are frightened by a barking dog), stayed home (sorry Faust, no coffee yet), kept correcting with purple ink.

10.00: Alienware: ‘Did they pick it up yet?’ Nope. They gave me the ID numbers of the transaction and everything, called UPS Ireland once more, and I called UPS Belgium. ‘Hello, UPS ?’ ‘Oh, but our driver has been there on Wednesday, he said no one was home’. Bollocks ! ‘No problem, we will send someone over right away. If he hasn’t been there by 2.30, give us a call.’

3.00: ‘Hello, UPS ? If this game of yours continues much longer, I’ll send you the check for all the appointments cancelled.’ A big mouth sometimes helps. ‘Really ??? Still no one ? Odd. Please, ma’am, can you stay just half an hour longer ? I’ll make sure the driver is there within half an hour.’

3.30: ‘Hello, UPS ? Well ?’ ‘Errrr, ma’am, we’re ashamed to admit that due to a little system error there has been a slight mistake. The printout the driver got somehow dropped the last character of your address, being the number of your house. He has called upon number 2 several times today, instead of number 24. We are very very sorry. Can you please stay at home a little longer ? We just found out cos the driver is already in, but we can dispatch a new one right away. It will take some time for him to get there tho, so you can expect him at your door at 5.30. Oh, you will be out for a while, but will be back in by 4.30 ? No problem, I’ll mention that it can be picked up from 4.30 onwards. Thank you.’

4.05: I come home from some errands, and what do I find at my door . A note from UPS, who had been there at 4.00 sharp. ‘Hello UPS ?’ ‘Oh sorry ma’am, but the computer says that someone would be in from 3.30 onwards. Oh, you phoned at 3.30 ? Hmmm. You know what ? We’ll dispatch someone and he’ll pick it up before 6.00. We’re very sorry for the inconvenience.’


Undoubtedly to be continued !


6.05: ‘Hello UPS ?’ ‘Sorry, our offices are closed at the moment. You can reach us every day between 8 and 6, and on Saturday between 8 and 1. We’re closed on Sunday. Thank you’.


Just cooked the most delicious dinner for just Bart and me. No, no candlelight romantic thing (we were both too tired to dress up the table), just very yummy food which took me 3 hours in the kitchen. I think it was worth it though.
For starters: escargots (snails) in garlic butter with fresh baked ciabatta bread with nuts in it.
Main dish: sweetbread (zwezeriken) in a mushroom-foie gras topping and a rich brown port sauce with foie gras on the side and more ciabatta.
Dessert: none, since we both already have eaten too much.

Tired now, but very well fed 🙂

Heh. Guess I just didn’t feel like updating properly lately.

I’ve had all these troubles with Bart’s appendix, and that kinda ‘ruined’ my Easter holidays. Since I had to cancel on my 5 day trip to Scotland, I could execute all the plans I had had nonetheless :-). The weather was splendid, so I did work in the garden a bit, planted flowers everywhere, especially in the upstairs veranda, finished that damned guest room (but it was worth while, looks good), worked a bit on the Netlash offices, played PC games :-).
Went on a marvellous larp weekend again too, as NPC: I was a very good and very sweet priestess of life all weekend long, and most players didn’t trust me just because I was me *grin*. Needed to get away from things, so that worked just fine.

Had friends over for elaborate dinner too, and I must say, it was a pleasant evening. I like cooking when it’s appreciated. Just too bad all the special black dishes and the crystal need to be washed by hand. Guess the machine spoilt me on that one.

Teaching is going well these days. The kids are still pretty fond of me, I gather. I do make them work hard tho, but they don’t complain. Been to another field trip too, an open air museum of houses and the way of living in our country 100-150 years ago. We were lucky to have nice weather, it was a fine day.

Just worried about one student: she’s 15, and has serious problems. She contacted me over it, and I try to help her out as much as I can, but there’s only so much I can do. I’m not a psychologist or anything. She has serious problems with her parents, who don’t give her love or attention, just materialistic things. She developed a serious drinking problem (yes, at 15) and lately she started to mutilate herself too, slitting open her wrists. I think she’s a good kid tho, and I hope I can help her out. At least she listens to me and takes my advice, and is willing to seek professional help. That is, not the psychiatrists her parents sent her to, cos he’s a twat, and doesn’t know a bloody thing about adolescent behaviour, but one that acts closely with the school and won’t tell everything to her parents, since they’re part of the problem. Sigh.

On another note: rented X-Men yesterday, watched it for the first time at 7, then decided to go and see the second one at 10.30 on opening day. Heh. Second is even better than the first, to my humble opinion.

And a very pleasant thing: Faust probably found a house 🙂 He’s looking into all the formalities of buying it. Decent price too (86.000 euro/dollar), but alas, no garden, so no dog.

Anyway, going to a ‘party’ this afternoon for a colleague who has adopted a little girl from Calcutta and giving this big celebration thing, then going for waffles at my grandmother’s. Brother and his girl will be there too, and my nephew and his wife 🙂 Promises to be a fun evening. Prolly the last time for waffles (it’s an annual event) since she has severe cancer. God I hope she stays with us a long time still. Yet, she’s 81, so…. It would kill my grandfather too: he turned 90 and still lives in the house he was born in. Heh. I really hope Bart and I grow old the way they did. One can still see the love they share. I’m a happy girl.